Not Once
by SassyChip
Summary: And I didn't care how pathetic I was. How pathetic I looked. But I wanted him. I loved him. Even if he was never going to love me. To care for me. To feel the same way I feel for him. But I didn't care. I ran for him. I ran back to him. And not once did I hesitate, not once did I turn back. Not once. Narusasu


**Disclaimer: (inserts super snarky remark about Naruto not being mine simply because I can't think of a cool disclaimer)**

I hated myself for a long time. I couldn't get over it. Couldn't get over the fact that he left me. That he would even fathom the thought of leaving me. I wasn't satisfied. No. Not at all. I felt as if I lost something. Like some sort of sick game we were playing. And he was the winner, I on the other hand, became the loser. But I didn't care. I would lose a thousand times. For him.

I adored him for so long. I realized the moment I met him. I thought he was just like me. Wanting to be accepted by everyone. I finally felt at ease, able to express some of my pain with someone who knew just how I felt, and perhaps I was a little selfish for thinking that. But I didn't care, who did? Who cared if you were weak. Nobody. So I forced myself, I kept wanting to get stronger, just so I could be worth his time, I became obsessed with him. Having the need to make him my rival. Making sure he noticed me with every step I took. Never leaving his eyes off of me. It was oddly satisfying for me. To know that I was able to make him feel so threatened. So vulnerable. And I thought I had him. I thought I was able to be with him because I understood him so well, because we understood each other so well. But no. I was so wrong.

I wanted to make sure he knew that I would be perfect for him. That I was the only one he needed. And it wasn't because I felt sorry for him. But because I needed someone. I needed someone so desperately, I wanted to be able to laugh with someone, to cry with someone, to _be_ with someone.

He was always so perfect. Nothing seemed to faze him, he always knew what he was doing, calculating his part in the game so wonderfully. Making sure he was to use his pieces to their full potential, making sure he was going to win at this game. And eventually, he did. I realized I knew nothing about him. I knew too less about him. What was behind those dark eyes, what monsters lurked behind them. I would stare so deeply inside them. And there was nothing, that was the problem. There was never anything when I looked at him, and it disturbed me too much. I couldn't read anything from him. It was as if he didn't exist. Like his whole life he was going for this..thing. And he wouldn't stop until he got that thing.

We were rivals. We were friends. We were brothers. But what horrified me so much was that I thought more of him. I fell for him. It almost seemed like incest to me. I didn't understand, couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Why the hell I would possibly fall in love with him. But I did. And I fell hard. Soon the early selfish needs to satiate my loneliness was gone. It was soon replaced with the urge to protect him. To give everything to him. Even if that meant my life. I began to crave for him. To want him so badly. And I became selfless. I didn't care what it took, as long as he wanted. I gave. My perfectly stoic angel. And nothing would be able to stop me from making sure he's satisfied. That he's happy.

I began to slip away from everybody. So immersed into the world of him and I. Even though it wasn't him and I. It was simply him, period. And I believed he would soon return those terrifying feelings I had for him. If I were to work hard enough, if I could prove to him that I was worth his time, eventually he would fall for me, just the same way I did for him. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. But nothing changed. Instead, it seemed as if he was slipping away from me. Little by little. Moving further away from me each time. And it scared me. No. He wasn't allowed to leave me, I loved him. I gave everything to him. Why would he possibly leave me. Why wouldn't he just _love_ me. Just look at me with those empty eyes, and have them replaced with adoration. _Why._

He began to slip away. Completely. He stopped talking to me. I would pathetically run to him, just adding to his hatred to me. I couldn't understand what went wrong. We were so perfect. I did everything just the way he liked it. I still remembered the words he told me. Haunted me for years. _"Naruto, I understand now, in order to gain power, I must stop at nothing, and at everything, in this world, as long as there are winners, there are losers. And I would never be a loser. Not until I gain power."_ I stared at him for a while afterwards. I couldn't quite comprehend what he was saying exactly, but I knew he was going to leave me. And I began to cry. I asked, no pleased, no _begged._ I begged him not to go. Not to leave me alone. I cried so hard that day. I screamed at him. I asked him why he wanted to leave. He didn't answer. He just turned away from me. I was truly scared. I realized he was actually going to leave me. And I kept begging. My dignity long gone. I begged and begged. But he walked away. He walked away like the proud prodigy he was. The skeptical avenger. He walked long and graceful steps away from me. I wanted him to come back. But no. Not once did he hesitate to turn around. Not once did he stop his steps to look back at me. Not once.

I felt as if I died that day. I tried to kill myself too many times. There was no reason to do anything now that he left. I tried to forget him, to hate him, and I nearly succedded so many times. But I never could. Never. He was just too much. He was all I ever had. All I ever needed.

And I didn't care how pathetic I was. How pathetic I looked. But I wanted him. I loved him. Even if he was never going to love me. To care for me. To feel the same way I feel for him. But I didn't care. I ran for him. I ran back to him. Crawled back to him, pathetic as it seemed. But I was always going to be his. Not matter what. I ran for Uchiha Sasuke. And not once did I hesitate. Not once did I stop. Not once.

Hmmmmm...I have to say, I'm pretty satisfied. I loved this really tragic and kinda yandere tone I added to this fic and it just makes me moody all over again. But who cared. ANYWAYS... if you liked this story, if you hated it, if you wanna talk about it. PLEASE REVIEW! You have no idea how much reviews mean to me. Evertime I log onto FF I would come to the review sections and if I ever got a review, no matter how short it was, it would completely make my day. Please review *cries and grabs leg*

ALright... BYEBYE


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